Broken Dreams, Shattered Hearts
by tpec1991
Summary: Outtakes from my first story "One More Chance". Things that already happened in other's point of view.
1. Chapter 1: White Horse

**Okay, so here it is as promised. I hoper this helps you to understand Bella a little more. I wish I could give you more BPOV but I can't because I don't want to give plot away and if I go into Bella's head after the pregnancy I would have to give away some stuff. But I might do a Carlisle's and Alice's POV, so wait for it ;)**

**The scene about the piano that Bella mentions in this one is the flashback that Edward has on chapter 10.**

**In this one remember that Bella must be in hysterics, so sometimes her thoughts might be a little jumbled and they probably won't be coherent or make sense. Also she is pregnant so mood swings and hormones won't help her either =))**

**Thanks to my awesome betta Cattinson for her wonderful job and words!**

**Tissue warning!**

**SM own every character, I just like to make their lives a little harder ;)**

* * *

**Outtake: BPOV**

"**White Horse" – Taylor Swift**

_Say you're sorry, that face of an angel_  
_Comes out just when you need it to_  
_As I paced back and forth all this time_  
_Cause I honestly believed in you_

_Holding on, the days drag on_  
_Stupid girl, I should have known_  
_I should have known_

_I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale_  
_I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet_  
_Lead her up the stairwell_

_This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town_  
_I was a dreamer before you went and let me down_  
_Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around_

_Baby I was naive, got lost in your eyes_  
_And never really had a chance_  
_I had so many dreams about you and me_  
_Happy endings, now I know_

_And there you are on your knees_  
_Begging for forgiveness, begging for me_  
_Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry_

The alarm on my cell rings and I instantly jump out of bed.

Today is my wedding day.

I'm getting married today!

I felt happy tears threatening to come out of my eyes as I made my way to Alice's bathroom in her guest room. I was just so happy the day was finally here, I've never felt like this in my entire life, but I knew the real reason of my happy tears… hormones. I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled to myself patting my stomach. Life couldn't get better than this.

I knew I had been right all along, dad was wrong about love he was just bitter after what Renee did to us. While growing up he had always warned me about falling in love. He had told me not to be stupid and to think with my head. That by falling I'll only be asking for a broken heart and trouble. But by watching my Disney princess' movies and by hearing love stories in kindergarten and at school I had found hope… and faith, what can I say? I'm a dreamer. I grew up dreaming of prince charming, castles and unicorns, trying to ignore him the best I could mostly because by listening to him it would only bring me back to that dreadful day. I had only been six and I'll never forget it even though I tried to never think about it, it was just too, too painful. I never think about that day… and I wouldn't think about it now, especially today.

Today is my wedding day. The happiest day of my life.

I smiled at my reflection in the mirror. Today is my wedding day and I know I'm the fucking luckiest girl in the world as I'm marrying the most beautiful person, inside and out.

Edward.

My pretty boy.

I felt a tear fall in my cheek and I cleared it away. I couldn't believe this was happening, that I had been right. Life was more than that little sad town where I was born, more than what my father had told me. Life was worth living, worth risking and worth falling for. Edward proved him wrong, I loved him more than anything in the world, I trusted him with my life and I knew he would never hurt me he was the one to save me from all those years of pain that I suffered. My prince charming was finally here to save me. He was the gentlest soul, the most caring one.

He was perfect.

It was incredible how well he knew me. I know some people would say we got engaged pretty soon –my dad especially- but we couldn't help it. It just felt so right. I knew I would never love someone else, he was my everything and I couldn't picture myself spending the rest of my life with anyone else and today… today we were making it official. I was going to officially be Mrs. Pretty boy.

I laughed at my own silliness, what can I say? I was just too damn excited to think clearly. To damn happy! I was also a bit nervous of course, last night I had been a little jittery for some reason but Alice had assured me that everything was taken care of and not to worry, that she was the one in charge and for me to only worry about my beauty sleep.

Alice was truly and angel sent to me from heaven. I have never connected with a girl as she and I did. Of course Angela was a great friend, and she had always been there for me, we came together from Forks to Toronto but things with Alice were just different, we were sisters. There was something about her personality that clicked with mine even though we were total opposites on likes and dislikes, maybe it has to do with the fact that we both live life fully, and we always see the bright side to anything and even though sometimes she is a little annoying and insistent, -like last night- I loved her to death. She had made me to sleepover at her house as the norm was that the bride couldn't see the groom until the wedding, Edward and I had protested and thought of it silly but Alice being Alice made that stupid pout and convinced us to play along.

I looked at my watch and saw that it was 8:13 am. Edward must be awake by now, getting ready for the day ahead of us. He was supposed to be out of his house, oops… sorry _our _house –as he had corrected me millions of times- by ten as it was there where all the wedding stuff was, and where we were supposed to get ready so Alice could supervise everything and get me ready at the same time.

I took a shower and dried my hair pulling it in a loose bun at the top of my head, when I was about to get dress I felt a tug in my stomach and a sudden feel of nausea assaulted me.

Here we go again.

I sprinted to the toilet, leaned in front of it and started to throw up violently. After a few minutes the nausea stopped and I leaned my head against the wall, breathing deeply to try and calm down my stomach.

"Please be good today, you don't want daddy to see mommy throwing up in the middle of the isle right?" I talked tenderly to my stomach and smiled again at the thought of Edward being a daddy. I felt tears fall from my cheeks again and I cleared them away. "Please baby… be good for mommy?" Shit, I was getting emotional again at least I had the excuse of the wedding if I started crying again in front of someone.

I seriously didn't know how Edward hadn't noticed it yet. I wanted to surprise him on our honeymoon – which I still didn't know where he was taking me to by the way – but I seriously thought he would find out before as I had been being very sick for the past two weeks. He was gone for work when it happened but there were other signs as well. My lack of period, hello? I knew I had been sleeping longer and I had been eating like crazy for the past weeks too. Speaking of which… where are my pop tarts? I was sure I had brought some with me? I stood from the floor, rinsed my mouth and went back to the room to search into my bag, but before I could reach it I saw my phone on the bedside table. I forgot about the irrational craving and I took it to call Edward.

After a few rings it went to voicemail, just like last night. Why wasn't he answering me? I know Alice forbid him to talk to me too but I knew he wouldn't have listened to her. He had called me yesterday afternoon, with Alice next to me and ignored her when she started complaining about ruining the fun, but when I tried a few times to call him latter at night he never picked up. I sat on my bed and frowned, maybe he just turned in early… resting for today's events. Yeah, that might be what happened and he was probably taking a shower now.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath calming my nerves. Today was a big day and I couldn't wait for it to start. I put both of my hands on my stomach and sighed contentedly. I knew it was too soon for us to become parents, when I first saw the pink mark on the test I obviously freaked out, I was worried about what Edward would think as it was so soon, we weren't even married yet but when I stepped out of the bathroom and heard the music from his piano, a wave of calm and peace filled my body and calmed my fears and I knew he wouldn't care, I knew he would be happy about it. I just knew it, so instead of freaking out I walked into his studio and watched him play. When I made my presence noticed, he had made fun of all the paint stains on my face but I hadn't cared, how could I? I had just received the most wonderful news so what did it matter how I looked? I had stared into his gorgeous green eyes and saw what I was looking for. So I decided to keep it a secret, and instead we had shared small vows. I had wanted to surprise him so this day would be even more special to us. I had been so tempted to tell Alice but I wanted him to know first for some reason. He deserved to be the first one to know about our baby.

The door burst open and a bewildered Alice came in.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "Did something happen?" I asked worriedly.

"Nothing is wrong, just… stupid boys!"

"What's wrong Alice? Did something happen to Edward?" I was starting to panic.

"No, calm down… Edward is fine, I think. It's Jasper, idiot!… he has a hangover, they thought it was wise to go out last night for a couple of beers but of course they ended up getting fucking wasted! I'm going to fucking kill them!"

"Them?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, the groom and the best men… apparently a last minute bachelor party."

"What? Why did they go out last night? Where is Edward? Is he Ok?" I asked in a mixture of anger and worry. Damn it, what's wrong with him? Here I was thinking he had gone to bed early while in reality he had been out and about.

"Don't worry about him… Jasper says Edward left way earlier, he should be fine."

"Thank god." I sighed in relief, no wonder he didn't answer me last night. I just hoped he didn't have a hangover too, that he had been smart enough to stop before it became too much as I knew he wasn't able to hold his liquor too much.

"Yeah, as long as Edward is ok we are safe, but they are so going to hear from me of course. Why didn't they do it last weekend like yours? Seriously, men are just so stupid!" She yelled throwing her arms in the air "I called Rosalie and Emmet's the same… she is mad as hell too. She dragged him out of bed and made him take a cold shower. He is on his way now to pick us up and help us to take things to the chapel."

"Poor Em" I laughed imagining Rosalie dragging him out of bed. You never messed with her, she could be very harsh when she wanted to.

"Well, he knew we needed him today, same with Jasper… so they'll just have to suck it up and they know better than to whine about it."

"It's Ok Ali, I'm sure Jasper and Emmet will be fine. What's the worst that can happen anyways?" Now that I knew Edward was safe and turned in early I could relax a little about the situation.

"No, it's not fine Bella! What if, one of them throws up while you are giving your vows, huh?"

"We'll just make sure we have buckets nearby." I teased and she huffed not appreciating my joke, if only she knew that the bride could very well be the one using them. Actually it would be a very good idea to have buckets nearby now that I think of it.

"So Edward went home early?" I asked again in reassurance.

"Yes, Jasper told me he left around eleven. He hailed a cab for him personally."

"Ok, that explains it then. I tried to call him last night and he didn't answer. I just hope he doesn't have a headache." I said worriedly.

"If he does he deserves it." She said bitterly making me laugh. I would never wish him that but I agreed with her. Who the hell goes out the night before his wedding? "I didn't plan the perfect wedding for him to just go and ruin it all. He is the _groom_, he should have known better and been a little more responsible."

…

…

…

"Thanks Alice, for everything." She turned to me confused by my sudden change of topic, but smiled anyways. "You did plan the perfect wedding." I said smiling at her. It truly was, it was kind of small as apart from my father and some friends I didn't have relatives, the reception was going to be at the Toronto's Fairmont hotel, I had complained as I thought it would be a ridiculous waste of money but Alice and Esme convinced me, and I had to admit the ballroom was beautiful. The decorations were gorgeous, the food was exquisite and most importantly… I loved my dress… it was everything I ever dreamed of and I couldn't wait to wear it.

"You are welcome," She said smiling back "my best friend and my brother are getting married. It was the least I could do." She said beaming at me then and I started crying again. "Awww sweetie. Come here…" She said hugging me and I hugged her back.

"I'm really thankful Alice, for everything… for you accepting me so easily… you are like a sister to me. I never had a full family and now… I'm getting everything at once is so overwhelming."

"Edward is so lucky to have you, and I wish the best for you. Today your lives are gonna change forever and I can only hope everything turns out as you wished. You especially deserve it."

"Thank you Alice, I love you."

"I love you too Bella, you are like the sister I never had too." She whispered.

* * *

I got dresses in my favorite jeans and in one of Edward's t-shirts that I had brought with me just to feel closer to him today while I got ready. I came downstairs and Alice put a bowl of fruit in front of me. I was finishing my breakfast when the doorbell rang and Alice went to answer it. It was Emmet, sunglasses on and ready to pick us up. Jasper was on his way and was going to meet us at Edward's house. Once in Emmet's jeep Alice started berating him non-stop. Not taking mercy on Emmet's headache and I stifled my laugh at Emmet's mood. I know I should be mad at them for dragging Edward out last night, but seeing him like that I thought he had enough on his plate, especially with Alice yelling at him.

We stopped for coffee at Tim Hortons and I ordered my always and bought a black coffee for Edward too, guessing he was still at home as he hadn't arrived at his parent's house yet. I was getting worried now, I had called him again and he didn't answer either. If he indeed had a hangover I was going to be pissed and I didn't want that for today. I called him again and he still didn't pick up, so now I was getting impatient and really worried.

After a few minutes Emmet parked where Edward usually parked his Volvo. I got out of the car and I heard Alice starting to give orders, from the corner of my eye I saw Carlisle's Mercedes and Esme stepping out of it. She came to me and hugged me giving me a peck on my cheek.

"Hello sweetie, nervous?"

"A little," I laughed nervously, I didn't know how to explain it but something was bugging me. I guess it was me finally hitting me the importance of the day, and that would explain my sudden nerves. I turned to the house and lifted my gaze to the window on Edward's room and saw a swift movement on the curtain and I smiled. He was definitely home.

I went to open the door and realized my hand was shaking. What was wrong with me? I needed to see Edward, I knew he would calm my sudden stress so I turned the knob and walked into the foyer, the house was quiet. Very, very quiet.

"Edward?" I called out while I put the coffees on a nearby table and made my way to the stairs. My heart beating loudly in contrast to the quiet house.

As I reached the top of the stairs I saw a piece of fabric on the floor, I looked closely and realized it was Edward's red button down shirt. I chuckled and kneeled down to pick it up. But when I took it I caught a weird smell on it. I brought it to my nose and inhaled deeply, my stomach churned in response.

Shit, not now.

It smelled strongly of beer and cigarettes, obviously from the bar but there was something else. A sweet scent too. Too sweet of a smell that it made my nose sting. I frowned in confusion and stood up, putting it on the banister. I took a deep breath to calm the nausea and walked into the hallway and heard movement on the other side of Edward's door. I smiled knowing he was up, he must have overslept and just woken up. My heart started to beat wildly again but I ignored it, excited to see him again so I took the knob on the door and flung it open.

"Good morning sunshine!" I sing sang happily to him, but froze when I saw the expression on his face. He was sitting on his bed, his hair was a mess, his eyes were bloodshot and he was paler than ever. But that wasn't the reason why my heart had stopped. I was his face, his expression… he was alarmed, and I could clearly see that he was nearly panicking.

"Edward? What's wro-" I started to say, but something caught my eye next to him. I turned my gaze and time seemed to stop, suddenly everything seemed to go in slow motion. I saw something moving, I heard a noise… I heard moan. A leg came out underneath the sheets and I lift my gaze to see a mess of strawberry blonde hair. She turned over and I saw her bare chest, I scanned her naked body trying to make sense of what was happening and finally my eyes set on her face. I scanned the room and saw Edward's pants on the floor.

I gasped.

_I was crying while I sat at the top of the stairs, hearing mommy and daddy fighting. It wasn't new that they fought, they always did, but this time it was different. They were fighting over me._

"_I'm leaving Charles!"_

"_Renee, wait… we can talk about it!" I heard dad beg._

"_There's nothing to talk about! I don't love you, never have! I'm leaving you, I can't stand you! I can't even look at you without feeling repulsion!"_

"_I'm sorry babe, but please… Tell me what I did wrong? Tell me sweetheart… we can work this out! Think about Bella." Daddy said desperately._

"_I don't care about her! And there is nothing to work out, I'm still leaving!"_

"_What are you talking about? She is your daughter!"_

"_I don't care about her! She is just an inconvenience! It was her fault I got trapped in this! I never wanted this, I hate this fucking town, I hate this fucking life, and I fucking hate you! I had plans for me, and she fucking ruined them! That stupid little girl ruined my life!"_

"_Don't you even dare to talk about her like that! She isn't at fault! Renee, think about it please! You can still do what you want, I'll work harder so you can go back to school if you want! You can still achieve your dreams!"_

_Mommy let out a bitter laugh._

"_Really? How? By staying home all day and being the perfect wife? That's not me! I want freedom, I feel trapped! I hate staying here all day just taking care after a child I never wanted! I never asked for her, everything was going great between us and she just ruined everything!"_

"_RENEE! It wasn't her fault! Please, stay… don't leave us, if not for me for your daughter!"_

"_But I DON'T WANT HER, YOU or THIS. So I'm leaving. Goodbye Charles." I heard footsteps on the foyer._

"_But, where are you going right now? It's late!"_

"_I'm going to Phoenix."_

"_WHAT? Why the hell are you going to Phoenix?" Dad asked aghast._

"_I met someone."_

"_What?"_

"_Please Charles, don't be stupid… you knew already. I know you have been checking my phone."_

…

…

"_Do you love him?" Dad asked in a broken voice._

"_I do. He is young, handsome and nothing like you. He is adventurous and carefree, that's what I want. I never wanted to play mommy and daddy with you." She said and walked to the door. I couldn't hold it anymore, so I broke into a run down the stairs and into the small foyer and hugged my mommy's legs._

"_Mommy! Don't leave please! I'll be good, I prwomise!" I sobbed. "I-I'm so-o-rry! I'll be good!"_

_I continued to beg, but she only pushed me away with her leg, I bumped into a book shelve with my back and a vase fell and hit the floor with a loud crash, sending pieces of glass everywhere and scratching my skin. _

_She walked out the door without even giving me a last glance._

I broke into a run down the hallway and reached the bottom of the stairs. My heart was about to come out of my chest, my lungs hurt at the lack of oxygen as I sobbed without restraint. I heard him call at me but I couldn't focus on him. My mind was someplace exactly eighteen years ago.

"_I don't care about her!"_

"_I had plans for me, and she fucking ruined them! That stupid little girl ruined my life!"_

I could still remember her voice, piercing through my ears as I cried on those stairs, trying to cover my ears to tune everything out.

I hit the bottom of the stairs, and saw Emmet and Jasper carrying a big box with vases. Edward reached me and tried to get a hold of me so I turned around.

"IDIOT!" I yelled and slapped him as hard as I could, my hands stinging from the force. I instantly felt the whole house go quiet and heard steps coming from the kitchen.

"IDIOT!" I yelled again, a pressure on my chest keeping me from breathing "HOW COULD YOU!" I yelled loudly, my vision blurring with tears.

This wasn't real… I needed to get out. The pressure in my chest continued to grow, I needed air. It felt as if everything was leaving me, air, reason, my heart… my soul. I needed to escape this I needed to get out of this hell I was in. I couldn't stand it.

"_I don't want her!"_

"_Bells don't be a fool. Think with your head not with your heart."_

"_She just ruined everything!"_

"_You are a strong woman, don't be an idiot, only idiots fall in love."_

"_I never wanted her!"_

"_Bells, stop watching Cinderella. It's not real, real world doesn't work that easy."_

"_I hate you."_

"_Isabella, love only gives someone the power to break you. Don't forget that."_

"BELLA WAIT, I DON'T KNOW-"

He started to speak but I didn't want to hear him, so I turned around and headed for the door but I felt his hand on mine stopping me from taking another step. His touch stung my skin, an unpleasant feeling swirling all the way up into my arms. I pulled my hand away abruptly and turned to slap him again.

"Don't touch me! I don't want you to ever touch me again!" I screamed at him and I felt a surge of rage claim my body. How dared he?

"Bella I'm sorry! I Don-"

"I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT!" I screamed, my throat straining from the sobbing, yelling and lack of air. My head was pounding hard, my mind was a chaos, and I was confused about what to do. I felt my head about to explode so brought both of my hands to it, covering my ears. I didn't want to listen to him I didn't want to see him.

I hated him.

I felt nothing but hate and pain. I wanted to get out of here but I felt lost, I didn't know what to do or where to go. I just knew I could stand his touch, his voice or his presence.

"Isabella, honey, what happened? Calm down, please sweetie…" I heard Esme's sweet voice but I didn't listen to her. Instead I took my engagement ring from my finger, I felt trapped in it and threw it at him.

"I'M DONE! I don't want to hear from you ever again!" His eyes widened in fear, I could see the panic in his eyes and it only make my heartache stronger.

"Bella! No! WAIT! Let me-"

"Edward?" A voice said from the stairs making me freeze as everyone else gasped.

In that instant, the only thing I felt was the cold and emptiness of my body. I felt useless, stupid and so, so unworthy.

Humiliated.

A loud crash echoed through the hallway, piercing my ears and shattering my heart. My knees were weak and I fell to the ground on my knees, covering my eyes, sobbing as I remembered my father healing my wounds that night. Taking the pieces of glass out of my arm and knees while he cried quietly. I heard Alice yell at her, and felt her run but someone stopped her. Then I felt him in front of me, he tried to tug at my wrist but I flinched away.

"Bella, please… honey, look at me. Please baby…" He sobbed and my heart dissolved.

Baby…

He tugged at my wrists harder, and I give in only to bring my arms around my stomach.

Around our baby.

I cried harder when it downed on me.

Our baby! Oh my god!

I'm pregnant with our baby and he fucking ruined it all!

Our baby, this wasn't good for him, I started to panic and tried to control my breathing. I looked down and tried to breathe normally as I still had a hard time breathing because of the damn pressure on my chest. Pushing everything that was inside me out. Everything that I knew, everything I that I believed in was leaving me. My hopes, my dreams, my faith… myself.

"_She is just an inconvenience!"_

"_He is adventurous and carefree, that's what I want. I never wanted to play mommy and daddy with you."_

"_I never wanted her!"_

I felt so helpless.

So alone.

"Bella look at me, I'm begging here." Edward sobbed.

I did as he said and I saw his eyes widening when he met mines. Seconds seemed to turn into hours as I tried to read the man in front of me. But I didn't know him anymore… I didn't believe in anything anymore. I was empty.

"Bella-" He started but I cut him off.

"Why Edward?" I whispered I didn't have energy as I felt so powerless. He looked down, thinking… he seemed at a loss of words.

Why had he done it? He had promised me forever… he fucking promised!

"Seriously, honey… I don't know…" He couldn't hold my gaze, guilt and shame all over his face. I started crying again.

How could he do this to me? TO US? WITH HER! From all the people in the world he… he… he _cheated_ on me with her… with a person who had hurt him so badly. Did I mean so little to him? Didn't he care about me at all? Why had he lied to me all this time? He promised me! He fucking promised me forever!

He took a hold of my head and brought his forehead to mine. The instant our skin touched I felt the same unpleasant feeling covering my body. I tried to breathe to keep the nausea at bay and caught a swift of her smell in his.

He smelled like her.

Images started to fill my head, both of them on our bed. His naked body a top of hers , flesh against flesh… his mouth on her mouth, tongues touching. His fingers caressing her skin. Her hands on him as he screamed in pleasure.

I fought an agonizing scream that threatened to leave my lungs, trying to protect our baby. But at that moment I wished I could just scream, I wish a hole would swallow me whole so I could cry with abandon. I hated to be crying in front of him, it only made me feel weaker.

I felt insignificant next to him.

I tried to pull my head away but he didn't let me, he was stronger and I was nothing.

"Bella, I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened… please believe me!"

I started to shake my head, I didn't want to hear it. I couldn't believe him. Dad was right, I had been so STUPID! SO NAÏVE! Of course he didn't love me! How could he? If my own mother couldn't love me how could someone like him? It never made sense, I knew it… he was too perfect to be real. Dad was right, love is for idiots, and love only brings heartache and problems. Why didn't I listen to him? Why hadn't I believed him?

He took my hand and place the ring there, closing it in and covering it with his in a tight hold.

"Bella, I'm so sorry… please, you have no idea… I LOVE YOU!"

"Stop." I said, I didn't wanna hear his excuses I didn't wanna listen to him. I needed to get out, I needed air and I was starting to feel nauseated again. Her smell coming from his body was still poisoning my lungs. I needed to protect us, our baby and me. I was still crying and this wasn't good for him. I started to stand up and Edward went crazy.

"BELLA! NO! I SWEAR! I DIDN'T MEAN TO!" He took a hold of my legs, he was on his knees. "PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE ME!"

I shook my head. I didn't believe in anything anymore. Not even in myself.

"Bella, I swear I didn't mean to, I don't know what fucking happened! I LOVE YOU! It's only you! She means nothing, NOTHING!"

He was lying, I knew it. I started walking backwards, my eyes on his. I felt so betrayed, hurt and insignificant. He followed me on his knees, telling me not to go and I got mad. I couldn't believe this, what was he trying to achieve?

"Edward, why did you do it?" I asked harshly and he just stared at me not having an answer.

Of course he didn't.

Lightening would have hit me a thousand times in a row and it would have hurt less. He didn't even have a reason, I was nothing to him, I didn't matter to him. I felt as if someone had punched me in the stomach, taking the last bit of breath from me. The last bit of my soul.

"Renee _cheated _on my dad" I said through gritted teeth and he flinched "she left us, I had a hard time growing up, we didn't have any money, I worked since I was twelve, saving for college and looking after my father who was broken beyond repair because of what she did."

I felt like fainting from the pain at remembering my childhood and adolescence, I remembered my father, a permanent sour look on his face. I remembered me foregoing parties and normal teenage things, and instead studying hard to get a scholarship, and working making my own pies and muffins for sale to pay for the rest to get out of Forks. So I stopped speaking and took a moment to breathe before continuing.

"And still… after growing up in a shattered home, hearing my dad curse to love almost every day and me struggling between school and work, so I could get out of there, I had hope… I had faith that someday I will find a man that would prove him wrong. A man that would love me unconditionally and irrevocably. A man who could give himself to me without hesitation. A man I trusted with my own life…" He looked down, he looked lost but I couldn't find in myself to feel pity.

"You knew this… you knew my fears, my worries, my dreams and hopes. I trusted you with them, and you didn't care? You just threw them out of the window… like trash," I whimpered "I honestly thought you'd be the last man on earth… to ever hurt me like that…" I sobbed against my will. I couldn't keep myself in check anymore, not that I had been doing it but as I said this I felt the last of me give away.

I wasn't myself anymore.

"Bella… please… I'm so sorry…" He said hopeless.

I shook my head and took his hands from my waist I opened his palm and put the ring there.

"Goodbye Edward." I said, my throat burning with the effort to say those words as the remains of my heart fought them. But I needed to start thinking with my head as my dad said. My heart would never rule me again.

I took a few steps back and Alice appeared out of nowhere, I had forgotten they were here. They had given us privacy by moving to the living room but I guess they still heard everything.

"Bella?" She whimpered.

"I gotta go." I mumbled without looking at her. I couldn't do it I didn't want more pain as I realized I had lost my entire family too. The family I never had and wished for, for so many years. I had stupidly thought that I finally got my wish but now… it was taken away from me too.

"Where are you going? You can't go alone, Bella… there must be an explanation." She begged.

"I don't want it Alice. I've had enough." I said taking another step to the door, my eyes on Edward.

"But… Bella? Wait! Don't go! Where are you going? You want me to come with you?" She took my hand and I shook my head pulling it away.

"No Alice, stay with _your_ brother" I said in a hoarse voice "Leave me alone." I said still looking at him. I couldn't decipher his face. It was blank, his eyes were empty… he was staring intently at me. As if he was seeing a ghost, as if he didn't believe what was happening. It hurt to see him like this, it hurt to walk away from him, it hurt so fucking bad I felt the urge to scream again, I just wanted to let it out somehow, I wanted to run, to punch something, to yell, lash out, anything to make the pain go away. I wanted to die, I felt so worthless, insignificant, ugly… I wanted to stop existing I wanted to vanish in thin air. To disappear from the face of earth.

But I couldn't do that, I remembered I still had a reason to live.

I hugged myself again, protecting my stomach.

I let myself have one last glance at him. He was as still as a statue, not moving.

I dared myself a last look at his empty eyes and walked away.

I walked out of the house and looked both ways not knowing where to go and I started sobbing violently when I realized I had nothing or nowhere to go to, I was alone. I heard Esme on the doorway calling me, in that instant I spotted a cab and ran to it. I opened the door and told the driver to drive away.

"Where to ma'am?" He asked and it took me a moment to answer him.

I didn't know where to go, I just knew I wanted to go away but at the same time I didn't want to be too far.

"Toronto Coach Terminal." I told him.

I sobbed the whole way, the driver giving me glances through the rearview mirror but thankfully remained silent. Twice I asked him to stop and I threw up on the sidewalk feeling sick as I couldn't help the images again, of him with her… on our wedding day.

My wedding day…

Oh god…

Another round of tears continued.

After 20 minutes the driver finally pulled into the parking lot of the bus terminal.

"How much do I owe you?" I asked in a whimper.

"It's Ok honey, it's on me." He told me with sympathetic eyes and I cried again.

"Thank you." I said and got out of the cab.

"Take care." He said and I nodded.

I walked inside and headed to the ticket sales.

"Welcome to Toronto Coach Terminal. How may I help you?" An old woman asked.

"I want a ticket." I said forcing myself to speak. My voice was hoarse and rough from all the crying.

"Where to honey?" She asked with concern when she saw my face.

"Which one is the next bus out?"

"Our next bus goes to Ottawa, and it leaves in twenty five minutes."

"I'll take it."

* * *

**Damn it! poor Bella, Edward's point of view is chapter 3 from the original story if you want to compare.**

**PLEASE REVIEW! I NEED IT!**

**Till next time!**

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	2. Chapter 2: How To Save A Life

**Here it is! I know it took a little while but better late than never!**

**The story takes place on chapter 23, right before Edward picks Bella and the kids up for their first brunch together at Nana and Pop's house.**

**Next will be Edward's suicide!**

**SM owns everything!**

* * *

RPOV: How To Save A Life

"**How To Save A Life" – The Fray**

Let him know that you know best  
Cause after all you do know best  
Try to slip past his defense  
Without granting innocence  
Lay down a list of what is wrong  
The things you've told him all along  
And pray to God he hears you  
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice  
You lower yours and grant him one last choice  
Drive until you lose the road  
Or break with the ones you've followed  
He will do one of two things  
He will admit to everything  
Or he'll say he's just not the same  
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Alice insistence was annoying the hell out of me. I mean c'mon! I'm not that bad, am I? And to top it all off, Edward calls me and basically tells me to stay away from his children. It hurt, it really did when he asked me that but I'd never say it out loud… especially because I understand why Edward asked me that. I really fucked up that time Bella came to brunch, but apart from what happened to Marie I don't regret it. Bella needed to know what she did too.

I understand his wish to have his family back, I really do but that doesn't mean that I agree with how he is managing things. I know it's not my business but I just can't believe how everyone acts as if nothing happened, doesn't anyone remember how broken Edward was? Has anyone forgotten how we found him in his living room a few years ago? Choking on his own vomit? Convulsing? Edward went to hell and back, he overpaid for his mistakes, we saw him literally shrink in his own body and it infuriates me to no end that everyone welcomes her as if what happened to Edward was just common cold.

Bella not telling him about his kids is the most selfish thing anyone could ever do, it's unforgivable and still Edward overlooked it and is practically begging her and groveling at her feet for forgiveness of something that he had no control over. He did make bad decisions and he did make a mistake but it doesn't compare with what she did. Edward was a victim, and she willingly lied to him.

I understand that she was hurt, if Emmet ever did that to me drugged or not I'd be devastated too, but keeping his kids from him? That was too much… but of course Edward being the innocent, selfless and good man that he is overlooked it and not only that, he has been trying to move earth, oceans and skies to win her forgiveness. What bugs me the most is that Edward is ready to give anything for her, he's been fighting for her since he found her again and Bella won't even flinch! I know she is skeptical because of what happen but c'mon! You'd have to be blind to not see the love in Edward's eyes every time her name is even mentioned. The guy would literally take a bullet for her, and oh my god… the love he has for their kids… it's amazing, his entire world moves around them, what more would you ask of a man? She should be grateful for this amazing opportunity. She can have what I always dreamed of if she would just give Edward a chance, a real chance. Sometimes I feel like opening her head to see if there is a brain there. After all that Edward has done for them how could you not forgive him? Especially if she knew the hell he went through.

She could have a family, a perfect family.

How can she throw that away? Especially with her past? Isn't that what she wanted? I know it would take a while for her and Edward to get back on track, I'm not an idiot but if she really wanted it, I'm sure they'd get there eventually. Even I know how great they were together I had known Edward for years and have never seen him like that time he and Bella were together. I remember Emmet telling me that some part of Edward died with Andrew… but that when Bella came along, she didn't just bring that part back… Edward was reborn. He started composing again he stopped taking things so seriously and basically started living. I saw the changes in Edward. That was why Bella held such a special part in the family, especially to Esme. I remember that brunch when Alice had found from Jessica that Edward had had a date with a girl at the gallery, and the minute Alice started questioning him I saw the light in his eyes. A light I've never seen before, a light that on that dreadful morning vanished and never came back. Not even now that he has his kids with him, that's how I know he'll never be over her.

I just don't get it. How can she be so blind and not see what she has at the tip of her fingers?! Edward is a great man, an amazing father and he truly loves her. The past four years prove that enough… his house is practically an altar in her name. She could have my dream and she's just throwing it away.

So that's why I am here, standing on her porch.

I was torn, I know I promised Edward I wouldn't interfere in his life anymore, but I just had to have a last talk with her… otherwise the tension would be worse and I don't want another scene like last time. I don't want to be in their way, making things uncomfortable so I thought about having a talk with her to clear the air. To get everything out, like adults and of course telling her the truth about this past four years –as I'm sure Edward tamed it when he told her about trying to kill himself- so she can finally make a decision and stop playing around with Edward's heart.

Poor guy has had enough.

Also I knew I needed to apologize, at least to the kids. I didn't want them to fear me, they owned me and I really loved them. They were so cute and funny, I remember how Marie would ask me about my hair when Edward brought them to brunch for the first time, or how Andrew would manipulate everyone to give him more of Esme's homemade cookies.

But the main reason I was here was for Edward, because I truly understand his wishes, he had asked me to put myself in his shoes and that's what I did. If there was anything I could do to have my dreams come true… I'd do it. No questions asked, even if I had to swallow my pride and bottle up years of pain and sorrow I'll do it to for the ones I loved the most. If there was anything I could do to have a baby, a family with Emmet I'd do it too. So I understand the importance of today to him, he wanted Bella, he wanted to show her what a wonderful life they could have together… how great it could be and I wanted to make sure Bella realized that.

Funny how in a way, Edward and I had the same dream.

Jezus! I couldn't believe she was letting this opportunity pass by, to have everything… literally everything. I seriously couldn't believe she was so blind, stubborn and won't see everything Edward was ready to give her.

I wanted to make sure Bella knew that too.

I removed my shades and rang the doorbell.

Nothing.

I tried a couple more times until I heard light steps and Bella struggling with the lock until finally she opened the door.

I'll give her credit she didn't even flinch when she saw it was me. Not that I expected any reaction from her but even I knew that me standing at her doorstep was the last thing on her mind.

"Rosalie." She said in acknowledgment and I nodded.

"We need to talk." I said, getting down to business.

She nodded and stood aside to let me pass through, after she closed the door she motioned me to follow her. We entered the kitchen and as I sat on a barstool she closed the door behind her, probably to prevent the kids from hearing anything.

"You want anything? Water? Coffee?" She asked out of politeness.

"Why don't we just cut to the chase." I answered instead as I didn't have much time.

"Fine by me, what do you want? I know you are not here for a friendly visit."

"You are right, I'm not here to apologize or to give you my opinion of what you did, and you already know that. I'm here because I wanna know what's wrong with you?"

"Excuse me?" She asked incredulous.

"You heard me." I said without taking my eyes of her.

"I'm not sure what you are talking about." She said turning towards the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water.

"Well then… let me tell you a little story-" I started to say but she interrupted me turning around.

"Rosalie, I have no time for your little games just tell me what you came to tell me."

"See? This is the problem with you, you only think about yourself but have you stopped to think how your decisions affect other people?" I said pointing an accusing finger towards her.

"My decisions are none of your business." She sneered.

Ugh… she was right. I wasn't even sure why I was here, I mean I knew why but now I thought it pointless.

…

…

…

"Bella… remember what you told me that brunch?" I asked calmer, it won't be good if I lost my patience she was already being defensive.

She nodded so I continued

"You said you never wanted your kids to grow in a broken home like yours. And when you found Tanya in Edward's bed…" She grimaced "I remember what you told him… you said that you hated your mom for breaking your family and basically told Edward that he did the same thing as her. But Bella… that was never Edward's intention and you know it." I said firmly but she looked down, not meeting my eyes and I continued taking the opportunity.

"So what I don't get is… ahh… fuck, what's wrong with you?! Edward would never dream of hurting you, he was stupid, reckless, naïve and just made an awful mistake, but _you_? You _did_ hurt him… you consciously took a decision that affected not only him but everyone else around you."

"Rosalie… I know that. Believe me I struggle with that everyday… that's one of the reasons why I can't fully relax around Edward… I fear he'll hate me eventually when he gets his sense back." She confessed and I couldn't help myself.

"Oh god Bella! Are you serious? The guy is insanely in love with you, not even what you did changed that. Are you telling me now that the reason why you won't be with him is because _you _can't forgive _yourself_."

"No, I have talked to him about it and he has told me to let it go… it's definitely something that still bothers me though, but that's not the reason."

"Then… I don't understand you, why won't you forgive Edward? He already forgave you, don't you believe him or what?"

She sighed, looking down again to think I guess. She started playing with the cap of the bottle over the kitchen island surface.

"Rosalie," she started slowly "even then, deep inside I knew something didn't make sense, I knew Edward wouldn't cheat on me willingly but I was so stubborn… so caught up with my past to see that. I did feel guilty for what I was doing and you have no idea how many times I almost called Edward but… it was hard to get rid of those images." She said finally looking at me "It wasn't easy to just forget what happened… willingly or not Edward slept with another woman, I was hurt… at the moment I couldn't see a way out. I could only think about my baby and I worried that my breakdown would affect him, that's why I asked Carlisle to not say anything until I was ready."

"But the two of you could have arranged something you didn't have to face him."

I said getting a long sigh out of her.

"I know I did wrong… I should have stayed, there are a whole lot other things I should have done differently but not always the right decision is the one we can live with. Unless you are in my shoes or you live a similar situation you can't judge me Rosalie, I know how this must look on the outside and is easy for you to tell me what I should have done but unless you go through it… you can't say to me what to do. I'm still dealing with a few things on my own… I can't just take him back that easily. I'm trying… but it's hard to let my guard down."

"Bella, life is not always going to be unicorns and rainbows… life is never going to be what we expected, if it was then life would be easy and where's the point of that? I'll be the first one to tell you that life isn't always going to give us our ultimate wishes… if it did then I would have a five year old with me and probably another kid on the way but guess what? I lost my baby and I can't even conceive another one and Emmet and I are dealing with it… together."

"That's the difference between you and me… you have Emmet, but I couldn't have Edward… if he had been in my life at that time… after what happen I don't know what would have become of the twins… I had a high risk pregnancy since the beginning."

"You are right, I have Emmet to help me get through the hard times but you are wrong too. You could have Edward too if you wanted, to help you go through your own demons. Ok, maybe then it wasn't the right time but now? I know you have your past, and I know that's what's keeping you from seeing the light. From trusting Edward and truly realizing what you have in front of you, what you are missing."

"I know what I'm missing."

"No you don't, you've never had it so how do you know what you are missing? You have the opportunity to have a real family, the one you never had and the one you always wished for… with a great man, too good of a man and you are letting it pass by… Don't you see? Bella, if you had seen Edward these past years you'll know what I'm talking about… Edward literally stopped living he put his life on hold because of you. He hated himself so much for hurting you to the point that he tried to take his life. _Because he hurt you._"

"Shut up, I don't wanna talk about that." She said harshly turning around and walking towards the sink to dry some plates with a dish towel. I could see the pain this cause her and it riled me. Why was she such a masochist?

"No, I won't shut up. You have to know what you did too!"

"And what did I do?!" she turned around dropping the plate with a loud clank on the sink.

"You never let Edward explain!" I threw my hands in the air "You just took off, didn't give him the opportunity to explain, you said yourself nothing made sense! Why not give him the opportunity of the doubt? Don't you know Tanya?!"

"Yes, I'm very familiar with her." She spat "Rosalie, put yourself on my shoes for one second too. It was my wedding day, I was pregnant and I found my fiancé and father of my baby on bed with his ex, the hot, socialite, rich girl! My exact opposite! That was a low blow! He brought all my fears to life, he changing me for something better!"

"But that's not what happened!"

"But I didn't know that!"

"But you know now! So what are you going to do about it?! Edward almost died because you left, that's not normal for a guy who wouldn't care… he made a mistake and he has dedicated these last four months to make it right for you! To show you how much you mean to him, he got you this gorgeous house, a nice car, a generous income and watches after you almost every night when you think he's gone and you are asleep!"

"What?" She asked aghast.

"Emmet saw him once, he went to look for him one night because he wasn't answering his phone and since he lives a few blocks away he passed by your street. He saw his car." I explained.

"Why Edward didn't tell me?"

I shrugged.

"Bella, what do you and Edward _talk _about?"

She thought for a moment but didn't answer.

"Exactly. Do you talk about his feelings? I know he tells you he loves you all the time but have you asked _him_ how he coped all these years? Have you asked him why he stopped working for more than a year? Why he doesn't have breakfast anymore? Why he doesn't listen to music? Why he hasn't played the piano or guitar for more than four years?"

She could only stare at me wide eyed.

"Bella, I know people have told you Edward was a mess after you left… but I don't think you truly understand what that means… if you would just go to his house you'll understand perfectly what I'm talking about."

She started crying then and covered her face with her hands.

"Rosalie… I'm trying, I swear I'm trying but every time I think about Edward and me I can't let go of the image of Tanya and him."

"Bella, be serious… you are not really trying you are just pretending to try. By what you have said you haven't been open with him, you don't trust him you are just pretending to be fine when you are not. You have to talk to Edward about all this, to really put your trust on him so he can prove himself to you. You have to really give him a chance, a real chance to make it right for you. Holding hands and coffee once in a while is not enough."

"Is not that easy, the memories haunt me Rosalie… sometimes even when I'm asleep!"

"Well… you have two options here, open up… get the worms out, be honest take all the anger and hurt out so you can start healing, it's going to be painful but it's necessary so you can start over and have a real chance with him, or… you can take the second option. The one you've been doing since you left… ignore what happened, keep pretending you're happy, use your fake smile and keep saying you are fine and then maybe after you've convinced everyone else that you are indeed happy, you can convince yourself of your own lie and go nowhere. But Bella, you are a terrible liar, you are not fine or happy… you are still suffering and holding so much, seek help… I don't know your past, I hardly know you but I know it scarred you… Edward and you are more similar than what you think he lost someone close to him too and has gone through a lot. Maybe the two of you can help each other." I suggested.

"I don't know if I can Rosalie, I'm scared of being disappointed again." She cleared her tears harshly.

"Then, stop hopping and start living."

"What?" She asked lifting her head to look at me.

"If you have nothing to expect you have nothing to lose. Do what makes you happy, don't over think things, and I know Edward would make you happy if you gave him the chance. Or are you telling me you don't want him at all, that you have no feelings for him at all?"

"I do want him I don't wanna lose him… I… I still care for him. That's why it hurts so much!"

"Then man up, grow up and face reality… stop hiding, you will regret it latter when Edward _gets_ tired and you'll really loose him and this time it _will_ be your fault. Edward can't fight for the two of you you need to meet him halfway."

"And what if everything comes back biting me in the butt? Huh?! What if this ends up fucking the kids even more?"

Agh! This woman was so frustrating!

"What if! What if! What if!Exactly! _What if?! _What if it doesn't? What if it's the best decision you ever made? What if you and Edward can have that happily ever after you dreamed about? Wake up Bella, the only one standing between your own happiness is you not Tanya or Edward or anyone else. Fight for what you want, fight for him! You have it so easy, don't be a coward… otherwise you don't deserve Edward."

"Fight for him?"

"Yes! Fight for him, don't let that skank win! Don't let her take what's yours! She was the one who took him from you, Edward never left… and he's struggling to get back in your life all alone, I'm sure he'd appreciate a little help." I said sarcastically.

"What if it doesn't work out?" She asked again "What if Andrew and Marie get hurt because of this?"

"They are already damaged, and by not doing anything you already failed." I said standing up and taking my purse to leave. "You know what Andrew used to say all the time? According to Emmet?"

"What?" She asked in a whisper.

"He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat."

And with that… I put my shades back on and walked out of the kitchen.

* * *

**What do you think? Was Rosalie too bitchy? Was she out of line? Or was she right?**

**What about Bella? I don't know about you but sometimes she frustrates me too!**

**As I said before, the next one will be Edward's suicide... it's already half done so expect it sooner that you think!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! I wanna know what you guys thought!**

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


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